Thursday, January 5, 2012

Let us go then, you and I.

 Comforting Mix by Tolly Moseley on Grooveshark
I've been in the mood lately to listen to some of my favorite "comfort food" songs, old and new, on repeat. Otis, meet Kat; Stevie, meet Wild Child. You guys are going to get along great.

So many of us here in Austin have been shaken by the murder of Esme Barrera.  I didn't know Esme personally, but she was one of those friends-of-friends that people just adored and always talked about.  If you Google her name, the search results burst with heartfelt digital shrines.

We in Austin realize that murders happen all the time, in other metropolises and ours too.  But this one feels different somehow; it has an innocence lost quality.  The murder happened in a neighborhood not far from where Ross and I used to live, and around the corner from my old zen center

The man who killed her also attacked two other women in that same neighborhood, injuring them.  This was on the night of New Year's Eve, when people were walking home from their parties, laughing and carrying on.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and couldn't stop thinking about all this.  I have to admit the whole thing genuinely scares me, particularly since this person hasn't been caught, and also because the acts seem so ... senseless.  Random.  Like, his only goal was to hurt (or kill) a woman.  A lot of people have been writing him off as "sick" (correct) but that's not good enough for me.  I want to know, was he trying to rob them?  Was he psychotically angry and taking it out on innocent people?  What exactly were you trying to do? 

Anyway.  I'm sorry to freak out all over the blog post like this. 
These are the songs I've been craving for the past few days, songs that are soothing.*  I heard somewhere the other day that the opposite of love is fear, and I truly believe that.  Fear makes me tight and constricted and fist-like.  These songs are loving ones, and help me (maybe you, too) open back up again.  

(*Well, mostly: Some are simply chill, some even a teensy bit sexy!)

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