That Austin Girl at Cold Towne Theatre

You guys, guess what's happening! This Sunday, I am going to be a "guest monologist" for this event:


Don't worry, they're just kidding when they say "celebrity." (On that note, can someone fetch me a damn bottled water already?!)

So, Stool Pigeon is a weekly show at Cold Towne Theatre, where an Austinite comes in and tells stories, and an improv group acts them out. Here's the description from the website:

"The cast of Stool Pigeon reads like a Who's Who of Austin improv. Each week, a new cast of award-winning performers, sketch comedy writers, theater managers, festival producers, and touring improvisers come together to twist the stories of a local celebrity guest into completely improvised scenes. Sponsored by The Onion."

The talented Chris Trew, Artistic Director at Cold Towne, asked me to be a part of this. I am proud to say that we are blogger friends. Did you guys know that has he opened for MC Chris, Comedy Central Presents, and Michael Ian Black during his esteemed comedic career? And he's right here in Austin! (P.S. - When R. and I first started dating he introduced me to MC Chris, whom you may remember from such classics as "Pizza Butt." And that is when I knew R. was the man for me.)

Anyway, recently, Miss Tiffany Diane over at Austin is Burning participated in Stool Pigeon, and I believe East Austinite couple James and Sarah have also been invited to join in the future. Austin bloggers, what what!

I've been thinking about the stories that I want to share, and while I'm still not totally sure, my aunt Connie will likely make an appearance. Who's Aunt Connie, you ask? Why, only the most gregarious alcoholic / evangelical Christian the world has ever seen. Take Thanksgiving 2003, when Connie "prophesied" for me. (Let the records show that vodka helps Connie more effectively channel the word of God):

"Tooollly......I'd like to tell you something."

"Oh?"

"Well actually, Jesus Christ would like to tell you something."

"Um, alright."

"Sit down, honey. The Lord has great plans for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"GREAT. PLANS. FOR YOU."

"Ok, good. That's....good to hear."

"Honey. There is something I want you to know. I have a message from Jesus. Do you know, Jesus CHRIST, honey? The CHRIST figure."

"Yes, yes I am familiar with Jesus Christ."

"Well, TOLLY. Jesus and your Auntie Connie want you to know something very, very important. Now honey, I really want you to listen to this. Are you listening? Ok honey. You, Tolly, will NOT-"

"Yes?"

"Get raped."

UM.

While not wishing to make light of rape Reader, I am proud to report that so far aunt Connie (and Jesus Christ, the Christ figure) are right.

Praise be to God.