Before this year, I never really knew how SXSW Film "worked."
In years past, people would ask if I was excited about all the movie screenings during SXSW. "Yeah totally," I would say.
Lies. I didn't know what was playing.
Except for TUB last year: A movie about a guy that jerks off in the shower and impregnates his bathtub. That one I was quite excited about.
However, this year, I am turning over a new leaf. I am actually going to see movies. I have a badge, so why not use it?
Because I find the internet highly confusing / overstimulating, I opened up my March 4 issue of The Austin Chronicle and circled my film selections there. I would now like to share them with you.
How about that photo quality, huh? It's probably blowing your mind.
*My Three Top Picks for SXSW Film 2011*
# 1: Hesher
Starring: Natalie Portman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rainn Wilson
Hello, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I don't care if he has dirty long hair. I don't mind if he sits around in tighty whities. I don't care if he draws on himself. If Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars in a movie, that's basically good enough for me.
My question is, Natalie Portman. What? This has got to be like the 18th movie she made last year. If I were her, I would now hibernate with my pregnant self for a very long time. It's time to kick your feet up, Natalie. Take out the Bon-Bons. Select from carton. Insert in mouth. You deserve it.
Right, so -- the plot. Here's what The Chronicle says: "Loud music. Pornography. Burning shit down. And it's just this kind of anarchy that's needed to shake the burdens of sorrow from a boy and his father." But this could have said: "Cereal. Cardboard box. Grocery shopping. Together at last" and I would still go see it. Why? Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I'm catching it Tuesday March 15, 9:30pm at Arbor Cinema.
#2: The Future
Starring: Miranda July, Hamish Linklater
This movie involves two of my favorite things, cats and Miranda July. Details and trailers are somewhat spare.
As is the promotional art.
However! Like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, if Miranda July is involved in, well ... anything, I'm pretty sure it's great. From The Chronicle:
"The story of a couple who, upon deciding to adopt a cat, change their perspective on life, literally altering the course of time and testing their faith in each other and themselves."
Ross and I could essentially be this couple. We got together shortly after he and Claudia got together, and look! Now we are married. Me and Ross, not me and Claudia.
You just don't know what you're missing, dog people.
I'm seeing it Wednesday March 16, 9:30pm at Alamo Drafthouse Ritz.
#3: Win Win
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Bobby Cannavale, Jeffrey Tambor
Haha, I almost typed "Wine Wine." Probably because Paul Giamatti is in this one, reminding me of one of my favorite (wine) movies of all time, Sideways. Yay.
Now doesn't that look sweet? Maybe a teeny-weeny bit corny. That's ok. Sometimes you just want a small town tale of family and small, but meaningful, triumphs. Amiright?
In truth I probably won't get to see Win Win until after SXSW. It screens just once, Monday March 14, 7:15pm at The Paramount, which is approximately the time I'm going to be prepping for this fashion show at The Mohawk. I would tell you more but I don't know much. Only that I will be modeling as something solidly orange. That's right, orange. When people ask me to do this kind of stuff, I've learned it's best not to ask too many questions.