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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sometimes, life gets cray cray.

At least, mine does.

I am having one of those weeks where I start a million blog posts, and peter out before I get halfway through. Does this ever happen to you?  Blogger God Seth Godin insists there's no such thing as "writer's block," because as his snarky, probably accurate reasoning goes: "People don't get talker's block, so why do we get writer's block?"

Well, touché, Seth.

However. The fact remains that if I soldiered through any of my current post stubs, you would be left thinking, "wha? What da huh?" because as it stands, they each make absolutely no sense.  It's like a rational adult started them, then a monkey kicked him out of the way and took over the keyboard.

So instead, I'm going to put these random ass post topics into list form.

1. I am going to a happy hour tonight that is literally for cats and dogs. Hosted by this company, a pet food company. While there, I hope to find something that makes Claudia less psycho. Last night, she dragged A MOUSE from outside, into our bedroom. I thought cats were supposed to catch the mice already in your house and, I don't know, eat them? Apparently my knowledge of the domestic food chain has been formed by Tom and Jerry.

2. Austin Eavesdropper now has AN INTERN.  This is for real. His name is Jeronimo, and he is awesome. Publicists, you know how you write me, and more often than not, I rudely fail to write back?  I am sorry about that. Now, Jeronimo will be fielding your emails! The new email address for stuff you'd like this blog to know about is See ya Hotmail, we're movin' on up.

3. Fun Fun Fun Fest is coming up. As is ACL. Are you going? Are you excited?

4. My mom had karaoke at her birthday party last weekend. My husband and I attempted a duet.

This is why I am a terrible duet partner for my musically talented husband.

When I don't know the karaoke song, I just kind of dance around and think about other things. And Ross pretty much carried this one, y'all.

I guess I don't know all of the words to "(I Had) The Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing, which is odd, because what self-respecting child of the 80s girl doesn't? 

5. What do you do about spammy commenters?  Because they love this blog for some reason. I don't want to moderate comments - too much responsibility! - but it's a little bit disconcerting to read on each post, "This blogger is very incredible with many important things shared, would you like business proposition to learn about for purpose of wealth-making?"

Or the more direct, more shameless "Buy Cialis!" duplicated fifty times in this old blog post.

Um. Fellow bloggers. How do you put the brakes on that.

6. Whenever I'm feeling uninspired, I watch this video over and over again. Warning, you might think it is disturbing, but I think it is hilarious. Especially at moment 0:16-0:18, when he calms down again.  But NOT for long.

We're done here.


Alex said...

OMG, that video? I think the fact that you find it hilarious explains more about Claudia than you.

(It is really funny though.)

Austin Eavesdropper said...

@Alex - Ha, you are probably right. Why do I find the very clear personal torment of a cat hysterical? I've probably unknowingly conditioned Claudia to be as psychotic as she is.

Becky B. said...

I beg to differ with Seth, because I DO get talker's block. Very often the most intelligent thing I can think of to say is, "soooo..." Is this just me?

GARY! said...

Those shoes were the first thing i noticed ;)

...And with that comment, I believe I just relinquished my last shred of masculinity. *sheds solitary tear*

Austin Eavesdropper said...

@Texanthropoly - Haha, NO! Not just you. Now that I work from home, my social skills/small talk chatter are frighteningly caveman. "YOU WANT ME TALK TO YOU. OK." Is about how I begin conversations in person, now.

@GARY! - Right? They're cute!

Le Tigre said...

I get talkers block ALL the time!!! ...... - - SO random but somehow gets funnier every time I watch it. Or maybe it's just me...

rene geneva said...

Is it wrong of me to think that if I got a hold of that cat I could make it love me?

Colleen said...

I love your sassy yellow shoes. Who needs to know the words to songs when you can distract people with your great shoes.

Jessica - This is Worthwhile said...

I have no idea how to control spammy commenters other than a) approving each comment or b) setting up that password/word jumble thingy. If there's a better way on Blogger I don't know about it.

Also, I think Burger needs to be put between two buns and put out of his little kitty misery. hahaha

Claire said...

Ha! I remember one of my very first convos with you -- (where incidentally, I walked up to you and awkwardly said, "I saw you on the airplane yesterday and thought, 'that girl has amazing taste in shoes. I wish I could somehow meet her and become her friend.' Do you want to be friends with me, since fate has obviously brought us together?" in other words: SO DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME NOW?)-- anyway in that fateful conversation you admitted to me that you think it is hilarious to put socks on cats' heads and watch them struggle to back out of them. !!!

That's like eighty percent of these bullet points!
- Your awesome taste in shoes (check)
- Semi-torturing cats with hilarious results (check)
- Awkward cases of talking-block (check)

If only I had had the foresight to ask you if you wanted to buy some Cialis from me, perhaps fifty times or so!

Anonymous said...

I get writer's block. It's usually cured by writing about something I want to write about other than what I feel like I should write about. But the things I want to write about are often way personal and if I post about them, I start having that repetitive showing up for class naked dream. Oh man, I'm probably going to have that dream again just for posting this comment.

I moderate my comments. I didn't choose this, it's just the automatic option when I got on with wordpress. So, I'm of no help, sorry. Ask Jeronimo to moderate. Hi Jeronimo!

Shoes are way cute. Nice choice.

Also, I love Burger and Fries. That cat is awesome.

Beth H said...

oh... my... geezus goodness. see, i get commenter's block when i try to post here! you are just so darn cute & funny, Tolly. you're killin' me! and yes, the shoes are fab. as is your adorable pose. i don't moderate my blog comments either; just delete the occasional spammy ones (so far i've been lucky & haven't gotten too many). probably just jinxed myself.

Austin Eavesdropper said...

I just want to say, this blog has the greatest readers/commenters EVER. Without fail, when I am feeling like the dumbest blogger ever and berating myself for blogging a LIST of unsuccessfully executed posts, you guys swoop in and make me feel like a freaking rockstar.

Plus, you guys are FUNNY! Omg. Let me try to respond to these individually without splurting coffee onto the laptop.

@Le Tigre - LOL. Ok. You are correct. That random moonwalking is delightful. I was so expecting that guy on the skateboard to eat it, and am glad he did not, making way for the awesome dancer being propelled forward by a Suburban.

@Colleen - Distracting people with footwear is pretty much my MO in life (see @Claire). I'm glad you see the logic in this approach.

@Jessica - Haha, poor Burger. His misery is palpable! Whadaya bet someone has posed your exact same suggestion to his face before, and THAT why he is so indignantly angry.

@Claire!!!! Can I hire you to be a regular commenter on this blog, please. Lately I die every time you post something on Facebook, on this blog...if you were to tuck a message inside the mouth of a carrier pigeon and send it down to Texas, I would no doubt laugh at that, too.

Hey. Speaking of! We haven't done socks-on-the-head to Claudia in a while (Ross won't let me). But that is a genius post idea, friend! (Evilly twiddles fingers). Also...I miss you, A LOT. I sigh every time some band here in Austin tries to go all N'Awleans style, saying to myself: "If only my little Cajun princess were here!" We could do one of those little umbrella parades we did at your wedding.

@ThatsLondon - Hey girl. I think you hit the nail of Inner Conflict on the freaking head, for all bloggers. Writing what you really want to talk about vs. writing what you think you SHOULD talk about. Because really, I should be blogging about Austin City Limits. Oh well.

But PS...I'm totally digging That's London, by the way. Truth: London and Austin are the two cities in the entire world where, upon entry, I immediately felt like: "This could be home." London will romance your heart in ways you don't expect.

@Beth H - Heh, just you wait. The Cialis guys are coming to you NEXT. Just kidding. Oh! Did you see that Trash Dance almost met its $10,000 goal?? It's not even close to end of Sept., and I think they're only $200 away from the finish! YEAH YOU for spreading the word!

Austin Eavesdropper said...

One more thing.

I just want to say that I'm really, really proud every time one of y'all comments. I laugh/smile/nod/murmur softly to myself in gratitude when I read what you have to say, knowing you guys are readers of this blog! Does that sound conceited? Probably. But seriously, I am honored to have you all here.