Monday, August 18, 2008

A vice president for all seasons

With all the speculation swirling around Obama's and McCain's once and future VP's, we were all beginning to wonder what was going on, weren't we?

The leading theory proposed by news networks was that the two were waiting each other out, waiting to see who the other would pick, then they'd make their move accordingly. So, we made our bets. We heard several iterations of the "chess game" metaphor. We rightly assumed that John Edwards was probably out, while others still pointed out that John McCain cheated on his former wife after she suffered an automobile accident that required 23 operations. (Which is not what I even want to talk about, really - Mr. McCain brought up his failed first marriage all by himself on Rick Warren's debate last weekend, so, you know, way to be open about it.)

But now, Obama has made his move! The New York Times reported today that we'll know his VP by the end of the week. And what's more - it'll likely be one of these guys.

1. Evan Bayh

Senator from Indiana, looks sorta like an older Ed Norton. know this is neither the time nor place to say such things and only reinforces my odd taste in men, but...kind of a hot ticket? Those two together? It even sounds good on a bumper sticker: "Obama Bayh '08." All syllabically harmonious and everything.

2. Tim Kaine
Governor from Virginia. Two interesting things about this guy (and I'm sure there are interesting things about you too, Mr. Bayh, it's just that I've chosen to objectify you. For the time being). One, Kaine handled the Virginia Tech shooting last year with lots of grace. I think it's saying something that tons of kids are still applying to go to that school, and Kaine probably had something to do with that. And secondly - this was really the clincher for me -
he recently refused to sign a proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, which the legislature voted to place on the ballot. Love!!

3. Joe Biden
The most well-known of Obama's VP shortlist. You may remember him from the early 2008 presidential race - in fact, he dropped out just three and a half months ago. Biden has the foreign policy chops that Obama lacks, and has over four decades of politico experience - but. Would that round out Obama's whole Washington rookie thing? Or is he just a little too "establishment" for Obama's candidate-of-change image? It's a tough call, apparently.

We'll know what Team Obama decides soon, but in the meantime, where o where shall McCain's VP come from? And more importantly: do you care, Austinites?

Well, I get all pumped up about elections, and my money's on Mitt Romney. So he's a Mormon. The evangelical vote is up for grabs this time around anyway, right? He's just glittery and smiley enough for McCain, who I swear to God almost fell asleep during his own speech the other day. I mean, I've caught the man on Daily Show interviews a few times, and McCain's not too bad - he just looks very, very tired.

But speaking of Romney - do you want to see something totally random? This is him in 1969, getting married:

Weird - isn't he just one thick-rimmed pair of glasses away from a Buddy Holly?

And why is it oddly funny that Mitt Romney had a 1969 wedding??

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