We own this (South Padre) island

Hello everyone. Did you have a good weekend?

I did. I went to a very non-Austin locale indeed, and that would be South Padre Island. This marquee sign signifies pretty much all you need to know about our beloved SPI, our exalted Texas beach, our MTV Spring Break claim to fame:

I think this is a fair assessment of the qualities that South Padre has to offer. I mean, we all know about the "trouble" part when it comes to SPI (psst: It's the kind that fits into a shot glass.) But this weekend it was pretty much me, four pals, and the hotel maintenance roofers on the whole island, and we did not take shots with the roofers, but rather drank our sophisticated wine out of more sophisticated wine glasses. What could be better? I'll tell you: fried curds.

Excuse me! Cheese that has a crispy shell around it, for serious? Now that's just crazy talk. But oh no, it's true: Read on friends, about the further "talents" of South Padre.

Gloriously gaudy signage
If there's any place in Texas with better signage than Austin, it has got to be South Padre. Where else can you enter a gift shop via a shark's throat?



We didn't know whether to be wowed or freaked out by this place, so we just took a picture and kept on walking.

Fried seafood - or, any food
Calamari is one thing. But fried pickles and fried curds? Now you're talking!



It takes real guts - by which I mean arteries of steel - to eat this stuff. And lo, eat we did, washing it down with plenty of heart-healthy wine so as to counteract potential cholesterol abnormalities. Health crisis averted, and bragging rights obtained! (When was the last time you ate a fried piece of cheese? Boo-ya.)

A somewhat attractive Texas beach
I'm sorry, Corpus Christi. You and I had plenty of good times when I was a kid. Your 5-for-1 t-shirt shops! Your two-story Whataburger! Heck, even your brown waters were a welcome respite from other, clearer shores, where sea creatures could just swim about totally able to see my feet. I liked that your water was so dirty that it partially blinded anything trying to use its vision underwater, and my unscarred legs liked it too. So, thanks!

But ah, South Padre - you really are the crystal shore of Texas.

(PS - I am wearing clothes here because I was completely stupid and did not apply sunscreen to all the areas I should have on our first beach day. Backs of knees? Totally able to get burnt! Stomach? Yes! As it turns out, it's not just your shoulders and nose that are vulnerable to the sun, but, like, all the parts.)

Austinites, this is switching subjects dramatically, but one thing we need to discuss is the cocktail poll running on the side of the page right now. I can't believe there are so many winos here! It's good to see you, comrades! It's too late right now, but we'll talk about it tomorrow.